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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Member Khloe25/Female/United States Group :iconartemis-and-her-buds: Artemis-and-her-buds
 
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I feel so broken sometimes

not even in the sad “i’m broken because someone hurt me”, even though I do feel that.
I mean literally broken. Unable to do tasks that everyone does. Things I shouldn’t even have to think about doing, and are very simple tasks.
 My hair’s a mess right now. I don’t think I’ve brushed it in about a week and a half.
I rarely brush my teeth. It’s a miracle I even still have teeth and not a single problem besides one cavity from when I was younger.
I rarely shower. I hate how I smell. Everyone else does to. 
I don’t make my bed. I don’t clean my room. There are a bunch of food crumbs under my keyboard. There have been things I’ve been meaning to do for a while now that I still haven’t done.
I have 1 commission and I feel overwhelmed with it. It’s taken me more than a month to even try to do something with it besides a sketch. I still can’t bring myself to do anything else besides that.
I can’t seem to take my meds regularly at all. I’ve cut down to one pill a day just because I keep forgetting to take the other.
I can’t sleep on time. Ever. I literally went to bed around 9 one day, and it completely screwed up my schedule. 9 has never been a bad time for me before. I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever get back on a decent schedule because not even my body likes anymore it seems like.
I’m also starting to wonder if I need to take melatonin. I talked to my doctor about it earlier this year and he wanted me to start it, but once again I never did and have a problem with taking meds regularly.

Daily tasks and living is a struggle for me.

I understand that now that I have Diabetes that it will be different, but I struggled with these things even before that. Its been years and I still struggle with daily living.

I get frustrated because I feel like sometimes that everyone thinks I like to live this way. I like to stink and live in a mess and not get decent sleep and not get anything that I wanted to get done because I have literally no energy all the time. It’s not like that though. I don’t forget to do these things 98 percent of the time. I know I need to do them but I just can’t bring myself to. I don’t know why though, and it gets frustrating.
To them it’s easy, they just tell me that I have to discipline myself to doing it. I don’t feel like it works anymore though.

I don’t doubt I need discipline, I know I do, but I always snap out of it for one reason or another. I can’t consistently do any of it without at some point just dropping it. I don’t necessarily feel like this is a problem I should look into like I have some mental illness or something, but it’s getting unbearable and uncontrollable. It’s becoming a real serious problem. Its kinda always been one, but its physically and mentally effecting me big time now. 

I know that wanting to do something and not being able to do it is a sign of depression. I dont’ remember seeing any improvement on these things though when I took the plethora of anti depressants I had in the past. The one I have now makes me really irritable if I take more than a 3rd of the pill a day. I also remember doing some weird things I don’t do now, so I’m not even sure if it was helping then.

I’m just kinda getting frustrated with myself a lot for some reason lately.

I better get some sleep though. 


  • Listening to: Little one's gonna wake up any time now. I don't
  • Reading: know if I should force myself to stay up or get
  • Watching: a 2-3 hour nap. either way I'm drinking coffee
  • Playing: UUGH.

deviantID

Musical-Medic
Khloe
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
United States
Pansexuality by flying-wolf-32Demisexual Stamp by sunbirdsINTJ Stamp by zakarranda My birthday badge
Commission for Musical-Medic 1/2 by SpiritReaper07
:iconmusical-medic::iconaquatic-angel::iconfritzybeat:
~Team Breakfast Club~
The perfect friends anyone could ask for. <3


Klobear drawn by the great :iconnekomellow: NekoMellow
Sprites drawn by the impeccable :iconspiritreaper07: SpiritReaper07



Hello and thank you for visiting my page! Here you will find all the weird and interesting things that I draw. Feel free to ask me any questions you may have


I wanted to list the awesome friends I have that inspire me. ^^

:iconkikokun::iconaquatic-angel::iconfritzybeat::icondarkhestur::iconpilot231::iconspiderwillow::icongenocole: :iconcrystal4458:
Ariyous-dusk-mod.tumblr.com

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:icondamaimikaz:
DamaiMikaz Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Tnx for the fav :la:
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:iconmusical-medic:
Musical-Medic Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome! ^^ 
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:iconsuperdashiebros:
SuperDashieBros Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2015  New member Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch!:) (Smile) 
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:iconmusical-medic:
Musical-Medic Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome! :3
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:iconspiderwillow:
SpiderWillow Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
EY YO PALLY PAL I HEARD IT WAS THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY YOU MOVED OUT OF THE WOMB AND INTO THE REALM OF EXISTENCE SO HERE HAVE A THING BECAUSE I APPRECIATE YOUR EXISTENCE :V


www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6-vgP…
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